Personality Check!
by Polalis
Summary: What if our beloved main characters of FF8's personalities were all of a sudden switched around? Some bad language, and a bit perverse
1. The Change

KWEEH! SHUMBALABALA!!! WAAAAAARK!!! *twitchtwitchtwitch* Hehe...Okay. Im fine, really. I wont eat yooou *licks lips 0.o*  
  
What if the characters of Final Fantasy 8 personalities were switched with that of one of the other characters'? Would the world emplode, would a chocolate covered edible puppy be invented? The fanfiction will answer it all!  
  
This first chapter is mainly an introduction of sorts.... ---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Everyone was asleep soundly in there beds, dorms, homes, or whatever place or thing or animal they were in or on. The night sped slowly on, as people dreamed peacefully. It was then however, when people were at the climax of there peaceful dreams, that a phenomena happened.  
  
A bright beam of blue light criss-crossed across the sky, leaving white blurs in its wake. It mainly floated above one place: Balamb Garden  
  
Squall, Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, Seifer, Fuijin, Raijin, Angelo and Zell slept on through the whole predicament, not realizing how things would be in the morning...  
  
Irvine was the first to awaken with a girly shriek, followed soon after by the rest of the group. It was then they all realized what had happened.  
  
"On no!" Irvine whinged annoyingly. "I have Rinoa's personality! Heeeeelp meeee Squally!!!" he cried, hugging Squalls legs. Squall giggled, then clapped a hand over his mouth, but eventually giggled some more.  
  
"Oh me, oh my! I must be *teehee* Selphie!" Squall giggled petting Irvine's head cutely. Zell just looked away.  
  
"Whatever." Zell said, then coughed. "Oh shiznit! I must be Squall!" he almost hollered, then he got to thinking alot. Quistis stared at him.  
  
"What a chicken wuss." she commented, then looked towards Seifer. "Dammit! Im Seifer! Dammit all to hell!" she cussed, then went into a swearing spree.  
  
"This is weird, ya know?" Rinoa said to no one, then slapped Raijin. "Great, outta all people, Im stuck with being Raijin, ya know?" she asked...sorta. Angelo walked on his hind-legs to her and patted her shoulder comfortingly.  
  
"I know how you feel, one-who-is-younger-then-me-by-one-year." Angelo said sensibly. "Oh my! I have become Quistis!" he said, then smiled. Fuijin did a few somersaults over to the dog and punched the air.  
  
"Yo yo yo!" she said clearly, doing a few martial arts stances, then stopped after she realized what she was doing. "Grr! I am Zell!" she said, then punched Quistis, so the Quistis/Seifer would think she wasnt a chicken wuss. Raijin then padded softly to Fuijin on all fours, and sniffed her feet.  
  
Raijin looked around the fgroup, then lifted his leg to urinate, yet quickly puts it down and sat. "Aiye! Bark bark bark! Woof! Yip yip! awoooooo!!!!!" he excalimed [Translation: Ack! I am Angelo! Just great! Nooooooo!!!]  
  
Everyone then turned expectantly to Selphie, who just looked at them all. She then walked up to the Raijin/Angelo and kicked him roughly. "NOISY" was all she said.  
  
---------------------  
  
Heheh...Hows that for a first chapter? Okay, so you dont get confused and suchness...  
  
Characters are: Squall, Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, Seifer, Fuijin, Raijin, Angelo and Zell  
  
Irvine- Rinoa  
  
Squall- Selphie  
  
Zell- Squall  
  
Quistis- Seifer  
  
Rinoa- Raijin  
  
Raijin- Angelo  
  
Fuijin- Zell  
  
Angelo- Quistis  
  
Selphie- Fuijin  
  
Whenever I talk about someone, I dunno, should I put "Rinoa/Raijin glared evilly at Zell/Squall" or should I just put "Rinoa glared evilly at Zell." ? Would the confusion factor add to funniness later on? 


	2. Chocolate Covered Edible Puppies!

Okay people! From now on, people shall be refferred to in such a way like Rinoa/Raijin..so that would mean its Rinoa, yet she has the Raijin personality. Okay? You understand? If you dont, I will re-wrie it in some different way, yet I will need a few tips X.x I have a feeling I will be updating this alot, because this story is really fun to think up...because it is so incredibly stupid XD Anyways! On with the story! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The whole group had gone down to Dr. Kadowaki's office as soon as they established who there new personality was, yet the kindly doctor couldnt do a thing to help the pitiful sniveling group before her. All they could do, she said, was live with it, and it would, hopefully, go away eventually.  
  
Her statement didn't exactly boost the morale of everyone who was stuck with a new personality. Surprisingly though, Squall/Selphie seemed to be happy with her statement and had hugged Dr. Kadowaki and skipped out of the room, while the rest grumbled and went about there buisness...or eachothers' buisness.  
  
  
  
Later on that day, as Angelo/Quistis was taking Raijin/Angelo for a walk, Angelo/Quistis stumbled upon Zell/Squall and Squall/Selphie at the "secret area" in the Training Zone. His Quistis personality kicked in immediately. Yet, Angelo/Quistis got confused at seeing basically two Squalls. He faced towards Squall/Selphie, thinking basically that he was the original Squall. "Squall..." Angelo/Quistis began. "I...I LOVE YOU!!!" Angelo/Quistis said. Then however, when Squall/Selphie gave him an odd look, Angelo/Quistis looked at Zell/Squall...then back to Squall/Selphie...and then back and forth. "DAMMIT!" he said as he fell over in dizziness...then he trotted out of the room on his hind legs with Raijin/Angelo running behind him on all fours.  
  
  
  
The cafeteria staff was dumbstruck at the sudden change of Fuijin/Zell. She had eaten the cafeteria out of hot dogs completely, and was threatening them with martail arts. Quistis/Seifer stood in the backgroun yelling "CHICKEN WUSS!!! DAMMIT!" every few minutes, and Raijin/Angelo, who had eventually left Angelo/Quistis, barked madly in the background. while Squall/Selphie skipped merrily around singing "Huga! Huga! Hai! Hai! Booyakka!".  
  
The commotion grew to a very intense sound level, and eventually, Selphie/Fuijin stormed into the cafeteria, along with Seifer/Irvine (who was not introduced in the first chapter, sorry ^.^;;;).  
  
"Yeehaw!" Seifer/Irvine exclaimed as he ran through the door, followed by Selphie/Fuijin.  
  
"RAGE" Selphie said, shaking her fist at everyone.  
  
Everyone quietly left the cafeteria except for Fuijin/Zell, who still demanded hot dogs. Selphie/Fuijin kicked her in the behind. "GO" she said loudly, so Fuijin/Zell did, with her head bowed.  
  
There were six more riots in the cafeteria that day.  
  
  
  
The day after wasnt very eventful or loud, and there was only one riot in the cafeteria. Fuijin/Zell had convinced the cafeteria workers to go on a hotdog making spree just so the woman would stop threatening them.  
  
Early on in the day, Squall/Selphie was skipping cheerfully through the dormitories singing "Zippa dee doo dah!" when he ran smack into Seifer/Irvine outside of his dorm.  
  
"Hey Irvy Kinneapoo!" Squall/Selphie said, then giggled. Seifer/Irvine looked at him and grinned. Then, all sense of genders lost, they both made wild, passionate sex in his dormitory.  
  
  
  
Around the same time, Selphie/Fuijin, Rinoa/Raijin, and Quistis/Seifer were talking about random things.  
  
"Irvine is screwing Selphie." Quistis/Seifer said.  
  
"Very loud, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin said.  
  
"INDEED" Selphie/Fuijin said.  
  
  
  
Yet AGAIN around the same time, Irvine/Rinoa was stalking Zell/Squall, complaining to him.  
  
"Squally! That mean man called me a slut!" he whinged. Zell/Squall ignored her.  
  
She stalked him all day, he ignored her all day, until he locked her into a random dorm, which unfortunately was Seifer/Irvine's!  
  
Irvine/Rinoa climbed out the window and fell almost to her death, yet she landed right on top of Zell/Squall!  
  
"Squally! You saved me! I am in you debt, and I wont stop following you until you can tell me how to make it up to you!" Irvine/Rinoa squealed, latching on to Zell/Squall's legs.  
  
Zell/Squall looked down exasperatedly at Irvine/Rinoa. "Oh. I know how you can make it up to me." he said with a sligth snarl.  
  
"What Squally-poo?" Irvine/Rinoa said, his eyes shining.  
  
"GO THE HELL AWAY!!!" he shouted. Irvine/Rinoa ran away crying.  
  
  
  
Later in the day, Angelo/Quistis and Raijin/Angelo were in the schools laboratory, which was built where Master Zorg had once been.  
  
"I have an idea!" Angelo/Quistis yelped out excitedly, causing Raijin/Angelo to jump.  
  
"Chocolate-covered edible puppies! They will sell millions!" Angelo/Quistis shouted, jumping up and down.  
  
"Now...where to find a dog..." Angelo/Quistis began, until his eyes rested on Raijin/Angelo who was slowly slinking away... 


	3. George!

Yes...Im sure the last chapter was...erm..."interesting", right? Yeeeah...well this one I will try and make even BETTER!!! It shall be the best! The best I say, the best!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *chokes* Ack...Im okay... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Angelo/Quistis was about to leap at Raijin/Angelo with a steak knife, when Squall/Selphie came skipping in, wearing women's lingerie and humming "How Much is That Doggy in the Window?" He looked at the space between Angelo/Quistis and Raijin/Angelo, and the steak knife in Angelo/Quistis's hand.  
  
"Oooo! A game! Can I play?" Squall/Selphie asked Angelo/Quistis with a giggle. Angelo/Quistis stared at Squall/Selphie for a minute, then dropped the knife with a clatter and ran away with his paws over his ears. Squall/Selphie blinked for a few minutes after he left.  
  
"Geeeeez...Whats HIS problem?" Squall/Selphie asked Raijin/Angelo, who merely yipped and licked Squall/Selphie's cheek.  
  
"You are such a good doggy!" Squall/Selphie giggled out, then squeezed "Raijin/Angelo to his chest.  
  
"Im'ma call you George!" he exclaimed with a squeal, trying in vain to pick up Raijin/Angelo in his arms and carry him away.  
  
  
  
Irvine/Rinoa dashed blindly through the halls, his eyes blurred with tears from Zell/Squall's harsh words. He ran for a long time, until he bumped into Squall/Selphie who was struggling to carry Raijin/Angelo to his dorm. Squall/Selphie dropped Raijin/Angelo with a sickening splattering and cracking noise.  
  
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Squall/Selphie cried, kneeling near Raijin/Angelo's side.  
  
"You...you killed George!!! NUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" Squall/Selphie screamed at Irvine/Rinoa, smacking him across the face. "NOW YOU SHALL PAY FOR GEORGE'S LIFE WITH YOUR OWN! MUH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Squall/Selphie boomed, glaring at Irvine/Rinoa.  
  
"Ahhh!!! SQUALLY!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Irvine/Rinoa shouted as Squall/Selphie picked him up.  
  
"I will kill you! And you will die from my killing!" Squall/Selphie bellowed as he lifted Irvine/Rinoa up. "This is for you, George!" he shouted. Then he threw Irvine/Rinoa into the fountain outside. Irvine/Rinoa gasped and then gurgled as she sunk to the bottom.  
  
After Squall/Selphie had thrown Irvine/Rinoa into the fountain, Raijin/Angelo (George) whinged and stood up.  
  
"George! You are alive! YAY!" Squall/Selphie exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Raijin/Angelo.  
  
"Oh! I threw Rinoa into the fountain!" Squall/Selphie exclaimed. "Oh well, I didnt like her anyway. Lets go, George!" he said, as he picked up Raijin/Angelo again and headed off to his dorm.  
  
  
  
Around the same time, Angelo/Quistis had gone to the cafeteria after he had run from the lab to make Fuijin/Zell stop eating the hotdogs and save them for another day. Fuijin/Zell had left reluctantly, and had gone outside to sit at the fountains edge. It was then when he heard Irvine/Rinoa getting thrown in on the other side, and he had run to investigate. By that time, Squall/Selphie was gone.  
  
Fuijin/Zell quickly dived in and saved Irvine/Rinoa (much to everyones dismay), yet she didnt realize her mistake.  
  
As soon as Irvine/Rinoa was concious again (yet again, much to everyones dismay), he took to stalking Fuijin/Zell around the Garden, as anytime he went near Zell/Squall he would kick him in the gut and send him sprawling.  
  
Eventually, Fuijin/Zell got extremely sick of Irvine/Rinoa, and locked her into the lab.  
  
  
  
Angelo/Quistis had gotten bored again, and decided to go back down to the lab and do something new, as Squall/Selphie would let her near "George" as he called Raijin/Angelo. He decided to come out with a plan to help Fuijin/Zell and Zell/Squall, as they had rquested a way to kill Irvine/Rinoa.  
  
When he got in the lab, she didnt notice Irvine/Rinoa's form lying in the shadows, sulking silently. So Angelo/Quistis got to work.  
  
"Yes! I have an idea! MUH-HAHAHAHAHAH" Angelo/Quistis cackled. "Chocolate covered edible humans!" he shouted with glee.  
  
"Now...where to get a vulnerable human..." he pondered...and it was at that moment that the hidden Irvine/Rinoa sneezed....  
  
  
  
Zell/Squall had been thinking alot lately, mainly of ways to kill Irvine/Rinoa. He was gleefully helped by Fuijin/Zell. They came up with the idea of asking Angelo/Quistis, and he had gone straight to the laboratory after they had asked.  
  
Zell/Squall and Fuijin/Zell walked together towards the building, when Seifer/Irvine ran up to them.  
  
"Yeehaw! Hey, have any of you guys seen my magazine?" he asked them.  
  
"You mean...porn?" Fuijin/Zell asked. Seifer/Irvine glared at him.  
  
"Have you seen it?" he demanded again. Fuijin/Zell shook his head. Zell/Squall nodded.  
  
"I think Fuijin, Seifer, and Raijin took it." he replied. Seifer/Irvine snarled, then ran off.  
  
Zell/Squall and Fuijin/Zell watched him run off, and then decided to go to the cafeteria to think some more...or maybe start another riot!  
  
  
  
  
  
Rinoa/Raijin and Quistis/Seifer looked through Seifer/Irvine's naughty magazine, as they laughed uncontrollably.  
  
"I cant believe Irvine looks at porn of old ladies!" Quistis/Seifer laughed. "He is even more of a chicken-wuss then Zell is!"  
  
"This is funny, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin said.  
  
Selphie/Fuijin snook up behind them, and kicked them both in the bums and took the magazine and threw it in the fountain.  
  
"NAUGHTY"  
  
  
  
Seifer/Irvine watched on in horror as Selphie/Fuijin threw his Old Lady Porn into the fountain.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he cried as he lept into the fountain, trying to graps at the magazine...but its pages had bled so bad, that he left it in the fountain and came out with tears in his eyes.  
  
"No! My Old Lady Porn! Why? WHY?!" he shouted as he cried into his hands. Selphie/Fuijin stared blankly at him.  
  
"SISSY" she said, and kicked Irvine back into the fountain, as she walked away with Quistis/Seifer and Rinoa/Raijin.  
  
  
  
"George! What have you got there?" Squall/Selphie exclaimed cheefully as Raijin/Angelo placed the rolled up and rubber banded magazine in his lap. Raijin/Angelo had found the paper outside of Seifer/Irvines door, and barked happily when he had found it.  
  
Squall/Selphie opened up the magazine. "Oooo! Nekkid old people!" she giggled and pet Raijin/Angelo. "Good boy, George!" he said, then went out to find Seifer/Irvine.  
  
  
  
Seifer/Irvine sat sadly on the edge of the fountain, when he heard Squall/Selphie walk up.  
  
"Hey, Sephy!" he said, trying to sound cheerful, yet when he looked at Squall/Selphie's face, he knew she was mad.  
  
"Whuzzah matter, pumpkin?" he asked. Squall/Selphie just glared at him.  
  
"Pervert!" he exclaimed, and for some reason burst into giggles and threw himself on to Seifer/Irvine.  
  
"I found some of your Old Lady Porn! George brought it to me!" he explained after he had whacked Seifer/Irvine six times on the head with the magazine.  
  
"I can expl....George?" Seifer/Irvine questioned. Squall/Selphie giggled.  
  
"George is my new puppy!" he explained with a giggle.  
  
"Hmm...Quistis was looking for some puppies..." Seifer/Irvine began.  
  
"NUUUUUUUUU!!!" Squall/Selphie squealed, then ran off to the dorms to go and get George, yet as he jumped up, Seifer/Irvine's new issue of Old Lady Porn was knocked into the fountain.  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!" Seifer/Irvine cried...and had to be dragged away from the fountain by a passing by Rinoa/Raijin  
  
  
  
Squall/Selphie burst into her dorm, finding some random ninja guy who has no major part in this story trying to capture "George". We shall call this random ninja guy 'Random Ninja Guy'.  
  
"NUUUU!!!" Squall/Selphie shouted as she kicked Random Ninja Guy inbetween the legs. Then, he threw Random Ninja Guy into the hallway.  
  
Random Ninja Guy pulled out his Throwing Stars, yet Squall/Selphie avoided them using Matrix-like moves. Finally, Squall/Selphie kicked the Random Ninja guy in the head, and threw him down the laundry shoot...which came out into the lab, which doubled as a laundry room!  
  
  
  
  
  
This chapter is dedicated to poor Mr. Random Ninja Guy. May his soul live on in our memories, and may he taste fudgey, and not be packaged with Irvine/Rinoa  
  
^o^ 


	4. Chocolate Covered Edible Humans?!

ACK! Im sorry if the paragraphs are all screwed up on this. I know they were on Chapter 2, and Im not sure about 3, because as I am typing this, it still hasnt been put up for you all to view by Fanfiction.net. When Im typing it, Im honestly putting it the right way, I swear! Stupid Fanfiction.net *mutters darkly* Im running outta ideas...you gotta help meh, all of ye! *breaks down crying*  
  
Aaaaaaanywaaaaays...on to the story! -------------------------------------  
  
Random Ninja Guy landed with a splat on to the floor of the lab, causing Angelo/Quistis to look up sharply. Irvine/Rinoa took her distraction and made the first smart choice she had in her lifetime: to climb out the window and run. Her plane would've been succesful, yet the windows were locked! Angelo/Quistis cackled evilly as he saw Irvine/Rinoa clawing at the windows.  
  
"MUH-HAHAHAHAH!!!" Angelo/Quistis laughed out evilly. "You cant escape! I shall finally create the ultimate million-dollar candy! CHOCOLATE COVERED EDIBLE HUMANS!!!!" he shouted like a mad-man. Irvine/Rinoa trembled in fear.  
  
Since Angelo/Quistis knew that Irvine/Rinoa couldnt escape, he quickly dragged the unconcious form of Random Ninja Guy on to the lab table, stripped him, and, as requested by the author, covered him with vanilla- chocolate swirled fudge, and spared him the torture of being packaged alongside Irvine/Rinoa.  
  
Afterwards, Angelo/Quistis packaged Random Ninja Guy and sent him out to be sold for a good price. Then, he turned to face where Irvine/Rinoa had been.  
  
  
  
Squall/Selphie watched the television intently as a pink monkey danced merrily across the screen. Raijin/Angelo curled up sleeping in a ball at his side. Everything was so peaceful.  
  
Then, Squall/Selphie heard the shriek of peril that belonged to the one and only Irvine/Rinoa.  
  
The only reason he bothered to stop the one who was making Irvine/Rinoa scream was because it was interuppting his television show.  
  
"Come on, George!" Squall/Selphie said.  
  
When he got to the hallway, he met up with Zell/Squall, Fuijin/Zell, Rinoa/Raijin, Quistis/Seifer, Selphie/Fuijin, Seifer/Irvine, who had also been disturb from whatever they had been doing because of Irvine/Rinoa's shriek.  
  
"Come on, kets go find Rinoa so she will shut the hell up and I can go back to watching 'Jay Jay the Jet Plane'!" Zell/Squall exclaimed angrily.  
  
Everyone looked at him funnily, yet nodded as they all headed towards the secret lab.  
  
Irvine/Rinoa tried in vain to climb up the laundry shoot, and was dragged out by the ever-so-ambitious Angelo/Quistis, who as soon as he got him, threw him on to the lab table.  
  
Angelo/Quistis laughed cruelly. "Maybe I will sell your organs individually chocolate covered! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Angelo/Quistis cackled.  
  
Just as he had layed the disecting knife on Irvine/Rinoa's stomach and was about to cut, the group stormed into the room.  
  
"Quistis!" Zell/Squall shouted angrily. "Please dont do that to Rinoa...her shrieking is interuppting me from Jay Jay the Jetplane!"  
  
"And me from Old Lady Porn!"  
  
"And me from Munk Munk The Pink Muunkay's Adventures!"  
  
"RAGE!"  
  
"and me from trying to watch the surfing competition, ya know?"  
  
"Me from '1 Million Ways to Mutilate Your Enemies'!"  
  
"And me from 'Martial Arts for Dummies'!"  
  
Angelo/Quistis looked over all of them, and then at the still shrieking form of Irvine/Rinoa, then knocked him unconcious.  
  
"Take her back!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Uh...why didnt you just knock her out in the first place, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin asked.  
  
"MORON" Selphie/Fuijin said.  
  
Zell/Squall then picked up the unconcious form of Irvine/Rinoa and carried her to Dr. Kadowaki's office and chained her down to a bed, and gagged her. --------------  
  
Yes...this chapter is short, I know...but I have an idea for the next chapter, and I had to hurry this one to end so I can work on the next one. 


	5. Saga of the Random Ninja Guy

Ive been wanting to make this chapter..so now I shall! This may only be funny in the twisted humor that is my own. This is a bit off topic, aint it? Yeah...but I wanted to write about th Random Ninja guy...so I am right here. I promise that the next chapter will be back to normal again. ------------  
  
Random Ninja Guy remembered vaguely what had happened. He had been trying to take that human dog thing, when a man in a dress had attacked him, and he had been knocked unconcious.  
  
Now, here he was, covered in fudge.  
  
At least it was good fudge.  
  
~  
  
The little girl jumped for joy as she opened her birthday present and saw that it was fudge in the shape of a human, and life sized too! This fudge would last her a while! Plus, it was her favorite kinda: chocolate-vanilla swirled.  
  
This little girls name was Richard.  
  
She had a little brother named Amy.  
  
No, I didnt typo. Those are there names.  
  
Anyway, where was I. Oh yes.  
  
Richard was so happy as she looked over her birthday present, and Amy looked jealously at it. He knew that Richard wouldnt share any with him, because she was a spoiled brat. He wanted to kill her.  
  
Literally.  
  
~  
  
Random Ninja Guy had heard himself being bought and wrapped up, and now the noises of people celebrating reached his ears, and the sound of himself being wrapped up. Immediately, he began to eat at the fudge, hoping to break free and run home to his mommy.  
  
~  
  
Just as Richard was about to bit into her fudge, she screamed as she saw a mouth eating from the INSIDE of the fudge. Eventually, a head burst free, which caused Richard to shriek.  
  
~  
  
Random Ninja Guy quickly lept from his fudge prison with a roar, hoping to cause a few children to shriek.  
  
Little Richard did shriek, as did her mom and dad. But Amy didnt shriek at all.  
  
Amy jumped at Random Ninja Guy with a butcher knife, which he had originally intended for Richard.  
  
Luckily, the stab from Amy didnt kill Random Ninja Guy.  
  
~  
  
Random Ninja Guy was scared of the little twerp in a dress. He had a bad history with men in dresses. And ones with girls names.  
  
Random Ninja Guy shuddered with the memory of Squall/Selphie.  
  
Quickly, Random Ninja Guy dashed from the house, and back towards his own.  
  
Rabid German Farmers with pitchforks chased Random Ninja guy the whole way home.  
  
Yet, Random Ninja Guy had evaded death.  
  
The next day, as Random Ninja Guy was going to market to buy a fat pig, he was hit by a bus.  
  
  
  
Thus ended the Saga of the Random Ninja Guy.  
  
~ 


	6. Return of the Rabid German Farmers with ...

I liked the Rabid German Farmers with pitchforks alot, so Im bringing them into this chapter! Okeeee? I think the chapters shouldnt look screwed up anymore...but if they are, I will find some way to fix them.  
  
Also, the songs in this chapter, "THE KIWILICIOUS QUEEING FISHY PUDDING SONG!", "WAAARK! Kiwi, Kiwi, Kee-wee-liff-ih-cal!", and "Pudding, ya! Pudding! WAAAAI!!!" are my own creations, and are copyright to ME.  
  
Oh yeah! And I believe I forgot all the legal shiznit in the previous chapters, so here it goes: All FF8 characters and places are copyrighted to SQUARESOFT. Random Ninja Guy, Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks, Chocolate-covered Edible Puppies, and Chocolate Covered Edible Humans are copyrighted to ME.  
  
Now that thats over with, on to the story!  
  
-------------------------------  
  
The Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks were very angry that they had not caught the Random Ninja Guy and drank his fluids.  
  
After the Random Ninja Guy had escaped, the Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks had wandered aimlessly, until they saw the vast building of Balamb Garden looming in the distance.  
  
It was then that they decided that that would be there next destination.  
  
~  
  
After the group had made Angelo/Quistis stop with his Chocolate Covered Edible whatever spree, everyone retired back to there dorms to watch there TV shows, then go to sleep.  
  
They didnt know about the Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks that were heading towards the Garden.  
  
~  
  
The next morning, Squall/Selphie was a bit more cheerful then usual, and began singing as he skipped through the halls with Raijin/Angelo at his side.  
  
~The 'Pudding, ya! Pudding! WAAAII!!!' Song!~ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pudding, ya!  
  
Pudding, ya!  
  
Pudding, ya!  
  
Pudding Pudding Pudding!  
  
WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!!  
  
Chocolate, vanilla,  
  
Banana, black raspberry,  
  
Kiwi, Lime, Cracker,  
  
Rice, Coconut, Black forest!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!  
  
Pudding is good for dee tummy!  
  
Nummy nummy nummy!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!  
  
Chocolate, vanilla,  
  
Banana, black raspberry,  
  
Kiwi, Lime, Cracker,  
  
Rice, Coconut, Black forest!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
Pudding dee dum!  
  
Pudding dee dee!  
  
Pudding tra lum!  
  
Pudding tra lee!  
  
WAAAAAAAI!!! ~  
  
Squall/Selphie finished the last note in a very high pitch, causing Raijin/Angelo to cover his ears and whine, and all the late sleepers to wake up crying in pain.  
  
When everyone emerged from the dorms, Squall/Selphie thought it was because they all admired his lovely singing voice, being oblivious to the fact that his voice almost killed Raijin/Angelo.  
  
When Squall/Selphie noticed everyone was glaring at him and reaching for sharp objects, he took his gut instinct and ran, being followed by a flying array of knives and other pointy objects used in killing. ~  
  
Zell/Squall was bored as hell. Being a SeeD without any missions to go on is a miserable position, and the Squall personality in Zell held him back from having fun, so Zell/Squall was stuck sitting there thinking. He mainly plotted of ways to kill Rinoa.  
  
Sometimes, Fuijin/Zell sat near him and helped, yet lately the cafeteria's hotdogs seemed to be getting better, so Fuijin/Zell practically lived in the cafeteria, eating hot dogs and starting riots.  
  
As Zell/Squall was sitting on the roof, he noticed movement to the East of the Garden. He immediately set off to get Headmaster Cid.  
  
~  
  
Headmaster Cid was in the middle of having sex with Edea when Zell/Squall burst in, pamting for breath.  
  
"Headmaster Cid! There are people near the Garden that look as if they are going to attack us!" Zell/Squall exclaimed. Headmaster Cid glared at him.  
  
"Dammit boy! Gah!" he yelled, but ran, naked, on to the roof with Zell/Squall following him.  
  
"We must try and reach terms of peace." Headmaster Cid explained. "Go get the rest of the other nitwits...Uh...I mean...SeeD's up here." Headmaster Cid commanded.  
  
~  
  
Zell/Squall ran around like a bunny on drugs searching for everyone, and he found them all in the Quad, being forced to listen to one of Squall/Selphies annoying songs.  
  
~The 'WAARK!!! Kiwi, Kiwi, Kiwilifical Song!'~  
  
Kee-wee-liff-ih-cal!!  
  
WAAARK!!!  
  
Kiwilicious, kiwi time!  
  
Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi!  
  
WAARK!!!  
  
Kiwi be green, green it be!  
  
Nice and nummy,  
  
Did I mention green?  
  
GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!!  
  
WAAARK!!  
  
Kee-wee-liff-ih-cal!  
  
Kiwilicious, kiwi time!  
  
Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi!  
  
WAARK!!!  
  
Kiwi print pajamas!  
  
Citrusy, no?  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
Kee-wee-liff-ih-cal!  
  
Kiwilicious, kiwi time!  
  
Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi!  
  
WAARK!!!  
  
Kiwilicious, kiwi time!  
  
Kiwi, kiwi, kiwi!  
  
WAARK!!!  
  
Kee!  
  
Wee!  
  
Liff!  
  
Ih!  
  
CAL!!!  
  
Squall/Selphie finished dramatically, his voice ending in a grass breaking high pitch.  
  
After his song, everyone fell over.  
  
Zell/Squall stood impatiently. "Move your butts, guys! Needed on the roof!" he shouted, then began to run. Everyone followed him. ~  
  
On the roof, naked Headmaster Cid was trying, unsuccesfully, to negotiate a peace with the attackers. When Selphie/Fuijin peered over the edge, she recognized who they were: The Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks!  
  
"DIE" she said down to them, and they jeered up at her.  
  
"Grr! Geben Sie uns Ihre Organe oder wir greifen Sie mit den flaming Unterkleidern des Schicksals an!" they shouted. Headmaster Cid looked down at them, puzzled.  
  
"They said 'Grr! Give to us your organs or we attack you with flaming the under garments of fate!'" Angelo/Quistis said to Headmast Cid.  
  
"Youre such a know-it-all! I knew it meant that!" Headmaster Cid said angrily, then broke down crying like a baby. A naked little baby.  
  
Squall/Selphie giggled. "I know! Ill sing and maybe they love it as much as you guys do, and agree to a treaty!" Squall/Selphie giggled.  
  
~~THE KIWILICIOUS QUEEING FISHY PUDDING SONG!~~  
  
QUEEE!!! IM A FISHY!!!  
  
QUEEE!!! IM A FISHY!!!  
  
Fishy be nummy,  
  
Fishy be me,  
  
QUEEE!!! IM A FISHY!!!  
  
QUEEE!!! IM A FISHY!!!  
  
The kiwiful fishy,  
  
Swimma dee swimma dum..  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding pudding!  
  
Cheery-o! Cheery-o!  
  
WAI!!!  
  
Fish, fish, fishy...  
  
Fishity, fishity, fish...  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
Fishy, fishy...  
  
YAY! WAAI!!! Pudding Fishity!  
  
Kiwi, kiwi, kiwilifical!  
  
Fishy, fishy, pudding, ya!  
  
Kiwilicious pudding fish!  
  
QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!!  
  
Im a Fishy!  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
Im a Kiwi!  
  
Ya! Ya! WAAAAAI!!!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
Kiwilicious Queeing Fish Pudding!  
  
QUEEE! WARK! WAI!  
  
Pudding, pudding, puddingful, pudding!  
  
Kiwi pudding, green it be!  
  
Wai! Wai! Wai!  
  
Fishy be blue! Blue fishy, it be!  
  
QUEEE!!! IM A FISHY!!!  
  
Wai! Wai! Wai!  
  
Ya! Ya! Ya!  
  
WARK! WARK! WARK!  
  
Queee...Quee..  
  
Quee along with meeeee!  
  
QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!!  
  
QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!!  
  
Im a Fishy!  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
Im a Kiwi!  
  
Ya! Ya! WAAAAAI!!!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
Waark, waark, waark..  
  
Wark along with me!  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!!  
  
Im a Fishy!  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
Im a Kiwi!  
  
Ya! Ya! WAAAAAI!!!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
Ya, ya, ya...  
  
Ya along with me!!  
  
YA! YA! YA!!!  
  
Dont forget the WAI!!  
  
Wai along with me!  
  
WAAAAAAAAAI!!!!!  
  
Ya! Ya! Ya! WAAAAAAAI!!!  
  
QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!! QUEEE!!!  
  
Im a Fishy!  
  
WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!! WAAARK!!!  
  
Im a Kiwi!  
  
Ya! Ya! WAAAAAI!!!  
  
Pudding, ya! Pudding!  
  
~  
  
Squall/Selphie finsihed giggling, then looked down at the Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks.  
  
They had been turned to smoking piles of ashes. 


	7. Oh, Poopy!

Yeeh! Chapter 7! YAY! I usually always get writers block by Chapter 6, and cant write anymore...but once I break the barrier, I can go on! YEEEEH!!! Anyways, now that the Chocolate-Covered Edible ______ Plot is gone, there will be a new one! Bwahahaah...I know I havent been incorporating Quistis/Seifer, Rinoa/Raijin, or Selphie/Fuijin alot in this story, and I have been mainly using Squall/Selphie, Angelo/Quistis, Raijin/Angelo, Irvine/Rinoa, and slightly Zell/Squall and Seifer/Irvine, so I will try and use mainly the neglected characters in this chapter! Oh, and Im making people do votes: How many of you would like the Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks to come back? Anyways, Ive rambled on a bit too much, so on with the story!  
  
---------------------------------  
  
The next day after the almost-attack from the Rabid German Farmers with Pitchforks, Rinoa/Raijin and Quistis/Seifer were stuck cleaning up the ashes and disposing of there pitchforks and underwear. It was an extremely annoying task, and the underwear smelled kinda funny. Rinoa/Raijin complained the whole time.  
  
"Oy! This job is smelly, ya know?" she said irritably. Quistis/Seifer shrugged.  
  
"Why do we have to do this, ya know? It should have been Selphie, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin complained again, nudging Quistis/Seifer. However, he nudged a bit to hard, and Quistis/Seifer toppled over, skidding face first into a pile of poopy-filled underwear!  
  
"Eeeew! I landed in poopy!" Quistis/Seifer exclaimed, getting up quickly and pulling the smelly underwear off of her face.  
  
"Heheh...That is funny, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin said, laughing.  
  
"Its not funny!" Quistis/Seifer yelled, kicking Rinoa/Raijin, who also fell and skidded into a pile of doodie.  
  
"Ack! Ive been kicked into shit, ya know?" she said. Quistis/Seifer glared at her.  
  
"POOP" Selphie/Fuijin said, as she had just gone to go check up on Rinoa/Raijin and Quistis/Seifer.  
  
"STAND" she commanded. Rinoa/Raijin and Quistis/Seifer did as they were told.  
  
"COME" Selphie/Fuijin said robotically, then headed back for the building. The two poop-covered culprits followed her...but not before they each threw a handful of crap at eachother, and took another handful for Selphie/Fuijin, who walked ahead of them and didnt see them grabbing more poopy.  
  
~  
  
Raijin/Angelo ran on all fours through the halls of the Garden holding a teddy bear in his mouth as Squall/Selphie ran behind him.  
  
"George!!! Stop running and give Mr. Bear-Boo baaaack!!!" he cried. Raijin/Angelo just ran faster.  
  
After a few times of running in circles, Raijin/Angelo eventually got very dizzy, and ran smack into Rinoa/Raijin, losing grip on the bear, who fell into the wet Rabid German Farmer poopy, which Rinoa/Raijin had dropped.  
  
"WAAAAAAAH!!! MY BEEEEEEEEAR!!!!!!!" Squall/Selphie screamed as she ran up to where Rinoa/Raijin, Selphie/Fuijin, and Quistis/Seifer were standing looking dazed.  
  
"Bad George! Very bad doggy!!!" Squall/Selphie scolded, picking the teddy bear up out of the poop and running off to the laundry area. Whining, Raijin/Angelo ran behind her.  
  
Everyone else just blinked.  
  
~  
  
Angelo/Quistis was very bored.  
  
He was no longer allowed to go into the basement, as that was where the laboratory equipment was, and no one wanted him to conduct anymore weird experiments.  
  
Angelo/Quistis was bored.  
  
So very VERY bored!!!  
  
If he didnt do anything soon, he would have to kill someone!!!  
  
...and thats when he got an idea!!!!  
  
~  
  
Irvine/Rinoa had been unconcious from when Angelo/Quistis knocked him out for a few days, and when he woke up, he was chained to a bed and gagged severly, so he couldnt scream. He had missed the lovely interlude with the Rabid German Farmers With Pitchforks, and it was a weird miracle that he hadnt been awakened by Squall/Selphies horrible singing.  
  
Irvine/Rinoa tried to scream out, yet the gag was too tight. However, Dr. Kadowaki heard her muffled noises and went into the room where IRvine/Rinoa was chained. She laughed darkly.  
  
"So...you are finally awake?" Dr. Kadowaki asked, grinning like those evil scientists you see in movies like "Frankenstein". She even did the weird Muhahaha-ish laugh.  
  
"You are chained and gagged...a very vulnerable position." Dr. Kadowaki continues, her eyes glowing strangely.  
  
"Now...I can ask you something and you wont run away...like most do." Dr. Kadowaki said seriously. Irvine/Rinoa looked at her with great fear shining in her eyes.  
  
And then...  
  
All of a sudden...  
  
Stuff was about to happen..  
  
(Muhahha...how does it feel to be made to wait?)  
  
Then...stuff was still about to happen....  
  
(Not good eh? Impatient little bugger you are)  
  
And still...stuff was about to happen...  
  
(Am I annoying you?)  
  
Any day now...  
  
(Of course Im annoying you! Its like that annoying pop-up link thing...with the annoying boxes!)  
  
...Oo lookie!! Christmas!!...  
  
(Im only delaying this because Im trying to make the chapter big)  
  
...AUGH!!! LEPRECHAUN!!!...  
  
(Yes...I am succeeding, and you could see that.)  
  
...Easter Bunny!!!...  
  
(Oo! A naked Tibetan man has just ran around your bedroom and stole your wallet!!!)  
  
Stuff is still gonna happen...  
  
(Arent you gonna go and catch him? No?)  
  
...Lalala...Stuff WILL eventually happen....  
  
(You are boring. I dont like you.)  
  
And...FINALLY  
  
(Ill go now.)  
  
Stuff...  
  
Will  
  
Happen!!!  
  
(Teehee. I lied.)  
  
Dammit!!! Go away!!!  
  
(Tch. Fine. I hate you too)  
  
Alrighty. Suddenly...  
  
Dr. Kadowaki transformed into the female version of Austin Powers!!!  
  
"Do I make your horny, Rinoa baby?" she asked huskily. Irvine/Rinoa stared at her oddly.  
  
IRvine/Rinoa bit straight through the gag.  
  
"Rinoa...baby? Im not Rinoa...Im Irvine." he said, shocked.  
  
"WHY THE HELL AM I WEARING RINOA'S CLOTHES?!?!!" Irvine shouted, breaking the chains in a sudden burst of strength. He zoomed out of the room. ````  
  
ClIfFhAnGaH!!! MUHAAHHAHA!!! Actually...not...because you can basically guess whats gonna happen next...unless...I make an awesome plot twist!!!!!! WHAHAHAHAH!!! Yeah! Ideas are forming.... 


	8. ...And There Was Much Rejoicing.

...I believe there shall be one or two more chapters after this before this story ends...and I can start working on another fan fic for like...I dunno...maybe Ill re-do the whole FF8 game only if they screwed up alot? Not an original idea...but a fun one, neh?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
~Elsewhere~ "Oh dear...Toto...I dont think we're in Kansas anymore!" "Arfity arf arf!!"  
  
~Somewhere Even More Elswhere!~  
  
(Tch. I hate you, why are you here bothering me?!) (In any case, now I can annoy you!!!) (Wheee!!!) (Im a muunkay!!! Ya ya ya!!!) (Hey...where are you going!!!!?!)  
  
~AHEM!!!! In Yet ANOTHER Elsewhere!!!~  
  
Irvine, no longer Irvine/Rinoa, ran through the halls stripping himself of Rinoa's clothes, muttering to himself how he even managed to get them on in the first place. He was searching for Rinoa/Raijin, to see if she had changed too.  
  
He found her standing near the fountain with Selphie/Fuijin.  
  
Irvine ran up to them, bursting in between the two of them.  
  
"Hey! Whaddya think you be doing?! I was just about to confess my undying lurve to Fuijin, ya know?!" Rinoa/Raijin shouted at Irvine, kicking him in the groin. Irvine doubled over in pain.  
  
"Augh...nice...kick...Raijin...yeeeah" Irvine wheezed, falling down. He immediaterly picked himself up again.  
  
"But...Rinoa, if you are still Raijin...and Im not longer Rinoa...then is the person who was me Rinoa, and then wouldnt i be that person? Or are there two Irvines now? What is the square root of 567? Is Saturn really a planet, or a Russian satellite? What is the answer to life?" Irvine babbled on, getting lost in himself. Selphie/Fuijin and Rinoa/Raijin just looked at him and blinked.  
  
Alot.  
  
"I only know the answer to one of those, and its 42, ya know?" Rinoa/Raijin said. Irvine looked at her and screamed.  
  
"NO!!! I dont know!!! And to which is the answer 42?"  
  
"Duhr...I cant remember." Rinoa/Raijin said, scratching her head. Irvine looked at her dumbly, then fainted.  
  
AT that moment, Zell/Squall and Fuijin/Zell came running in and revived Irvine. He then told them how he was Irvine now.  
  
"That means...we should all be back to normal soon! Ya ya ya!!!" Fuijin/Zell whooped, throwing punches into the air. Then she stopped blankly.  
  
"HUH?!"  
  
"It seems Fuijin is back to normal now!!!" Irvine exclaimed. Rinoa/Raijin stood up and blinked.  
  
"What the hell is wrong? What in the Lord of Chimbana's name am I wearing?! I look so dirty, and my Squall wont love me if Im dirty!!" Rinoa exclaimed.  
  
The rest of the group quickly ran to the fountain, all of them returning to there original personalities.  
  
Squall walked up to Rinoa.  
  
"It doesnt matter if you look dirty..." he said.  
  
Rinoa's face lit up.  
  
"...I dont even love you when you are clean." he finished blankly  
  
Rinoa ran away crying and fell off a cliff.  
  
There was much rejoicing. 


	9. Epilogue

*sighs* The last chapter...we've made it far, haven't we guys? Well...get ready for the...EPILOGUE!!!!!  
  
```````````  
  
Zell looked around at all of his friends who were back to normal.  
  
"Well guys, I guess from now on we should have personality checks!" he said.  
  
And thus the corny laughter ensued.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Epilogue~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ah yes, after about a week of having there personalities screwed up, our beloved characters were very happy.  
  
Squall stayed the same as usual, but after Rinoa's death he lightened up considerably, and decided since there were no more missions for Garden, he would leave. He recieved many tearful good-byes, and opened a balloon animal shop in Balamb. The day after he left Garden, the Garden recieved 10 new missions. Never wouldve saw that coming, eh? squall is believed to be dead, after having a balloon accident where he filled himself with too much helium and floated away. He was unfortunately wearing a pink teddy bear costume, and the new Galbadia Missle Base got scared and shot him down into the ocean.  
  
Rinoa, as you know, ran off a cliff. And, as you know, there was much rejoicing.  
  
Fuijin seemed to be emotionally scarred from her experience of being Zell, and developed an extreme fear of hot dogs. One day at a fair that Raijin had brought her to, she was chased by a man in a hot dog suit trying to sell Oscar Meiyer Weiners. She currently is in the chain-and-gagged room in Dr. Kadowaki's office, where she is forced to look upon Austin Powers day and night.  
  
Raijin was slightly affected from being Angelo. To this day you can be walking with him, and he'll instinctively start running around on all fours. He also has changed his name to George, but has a strong fear of men in dresses singing about Kiwi's, Pudding, and Fishies.  
  
Selphie, after seeing how Squall acted when he was her, didnt act as ditzy as she once did. She taught Squall how to make balloon animals and married Irvine and they had a son...that they named George. She however caught Irvine cheating on her with an old woman. Sick of his strange fetishes, she turned him into a monkey. A pink monkey. Named Harold.  
  
Irvine married Selphie, had a son George, and cheated on Seplhie with an old woman and was turned into a pink muunkay named Harold. As Harold, Irvine left the Garden and went on an adventure to travel the world. He first lived with Squall in Balamb and helped make animal balloons and dnaced for money. After Squall was shot down, he left on a journey in a shoebox balloon. He made a movie called "Monkeys Big Adventure.". Only two people went to see the movie...a drunk man and a woman named "Ms. Peepeesalot".  
  
Angelo became a dog again, yet had some weird obsession with trying to eat people and chocolate. The Quistis part still in him caused him to stand on his back legs at times...and he finally succeeded in making Chocolate Covered Edible Humans. Hwoever...as with Irvine...only two people bought thte product. Ms. Peepeesalot and a man...a man named Amy. Angelo eventually ran away from his debt to Bangkok, where he learned ancient knowledge and gained the ability to speak again. He learned 10 different languages, yet was killed in a Rabid German Farmers WIth Pitchforks stampede in New Zealand.  
  
Zell was affected from being Squall for the time his personality was switched, and became a thoughtful person. That lasted for about...2 minutes? Then, he spotted hot dogs, and seeing Fuijin having a fear of them, chased her with them. He fell off the same cliff that Rinoa did, yet was puleld back up by a giant stork, he taught him the secrets of life. The next day, Zell had already forgotten them, and started a profession out of making slinkies used in sexual ways.  
  
Seifer, after having to Irvine for so long, grew a weird fetish for old women. After killing three after they all refused to have an orgy with him, he was sent to the Galbadia prison base, where an old lady Bondage Queen whipped him into place. Now he fears old women, and lives in a hut with a Rabid German Farmer with a Pitchfork. They hunt monkeys and salamanders together in the ol' Sawnee Rivah and speak of the good ol' days. Yarh.  
  
Quistis was in no way whatsoever affected by being Seifer at all...She has discovered 501 things to do with poopy and how to make Sea Monkey orgies, and is currently married to a rich, handsome Japanese man named Mr. Hannisgizawashikunchansamadomi. They have 52 children all named Snorkkles.  
  
Cid never found his clothes and remained naked his whole life.  
  
Edea likes sparkly things.  
  
Dr. Kadowaki is Austin Powers. Yeah baby!!  
  
I like muffins.  
  
Do you like muffins?  
  
No?  
  
You suck.  
  
You really do.  
  
Yeah. Go away now.  
  
  
  
THE END!  
  
You heard me. Scat. Its over now, beat it.  
  
I dont associate with people who hate muffins.  
  
Go.  
  
~Fin~ 


End file.
